Personal Pain Experience.

And it's all personal.We're all limited to our own subjective experience of our pain.We can bitch about it to others.But we're the ones stuck with it.
Of course there's emotional pain.It can be every bit as horrible as physical pain.But this is about physical pain,and exercise.
About how you learn what the depths,and limits are.

It seems so easy when you're young.You know what pain is by instinct,and you avoid it.The doctor comes at you with a needle,and you cry and hide behind your momma.At least I did.I'm lucky I was successfully immunized.Actually I was a very healthy child.I did get a few injuries.But nothing major.
When I was young my mother would complain about her discomforts.She had me when she was forty years old. My father was forty three.Naturally conceived.What are the odds?
My point of view has usually skewed older.I feel rather 'out of time'.
But I guess I must have taken my youth for granted.I believe most of us must.The aches,and pains will inevitably increase with age.
My mother would say her hips hurt her.She was having trouble sleeping because of it."My hip hurt so bad last night it almost killed me."She may have been slightly melodramatic,but she wasn't making it up.I believed her.Told her I was sorry.But I don't think I really understood how bad it was.

When I was a teenager I started playing tennis.Running around hard courts.Not fast either.I'm not a good runner.But very good form on my strokes.Shame I couldn't get around the court better.I may have been a decent player.Forgive me for a little brag.But my teaching pro said my backhand looked like an Ivan Lendl copy.That's who I was trying for.( Lendl or Edberg )
A few years in I noticed I was having some incidences of hip pain.It felt like the hip joint was biting on the nerve.Sharp stingers that would shoot down the leg.
Sciatica
It's pretty common.And no doubt inherited in my case.
It can be a genuine pain in the ass.

All this time I've been weight lifting too.On and off.I don't want to give the impression I've lifted day in,and day out  year after year.I've been involved with other things.Didn't have the enthusiasm.Didn't make the effort.
But in recent years I've been more dedicated.Which is great.
The benefits far outweigh the negatives.
But one of the questions I have is does it make my pain better?
Because the sad fact is it's gotten worse over the years.I think you could label it chronic at this point.
There are good,and bad days.But I can feel the discomfort in my back,and hips ( left particularly ) most of the time.
I do take pain killers when I need them.
I've taken Aspirin,Ibuprofen,and Hydrocodone.

My first experience with opioids was an attack of kidney stones when I was about thirty.It just hit me one evening.Bizarre unimaginable pain.I ended up in the ER where they gave me a shot of demerol.It felt like having the full tension of a set of piano strings released.
I was given some hydrocodone to take at home.I did take it when needed.I did not pop the whole bottle of pills down my throat like candy.That bottle lasted awhile.The stone passed.
I've passed a few of them since then.I,and you,would have to take strong pain killers to get through it.
It's like passing a sticky burr down a piece of spaghetti.It's excruciating.
An emergency room doctor told me he had women who had both experiences say kidney stones hurt worse to get out of your body than a baby.
Now I'm really glad I never had kids.
But seriously.The pain of kidney stones is bloody awful.
Having the medication on hand keeps me from needing to make an expensive trip to the hospital.

To get the point of the issue.I was a very strict young person.I didn't use illegal drugs.I didn't smoke.
I didn't drink more than a few times in my twenties.I worked out,and tried to eat well.
I was born to be the designated driver.
I don't party.
It's a family joke how unwild I am.
I don't take drugs lightly.But I've changed my views.I have nothing but sympathy for people who have to treat intense,or chronic pain with medication that's beyond over the counter.
I used to chew down enough aspirin to kill a horse.it gets to the point where you have to use more effective substances.

Pain sufferers are not criminals.Some may be addicted,or dependent.I'm as sorry as anyone else to see people die of opioid overdoses.I don't want to see the irresponsible over prescription of drugs.
But I'm sensing the onset of another case of destructive moral panic coming on in America.It wouldn't be the first.We seem to have a sad predilection for them.Americans hate the appearance of moral incontinence.All the while being surprising selfish at the same time.A puritanical,and individualistic nation can lead to some weird convictions.
I just hope that the greedy sensationalistic media doesn't keep careening out of control on this issue.This can't be turned into another case of hysterical click bait.
Why the hell can't we be rational about serious issues?
I'm sick of seeing politicians scampering to get ahead of a fear herd for votes.
Criminalize marijuana.Criminalize Anabolic Steroids.Now the DEA is moving toward criminalizing kratom.Here we go again.We grant the idea of personal freedom like a ticket you're not allowed to cash in.And people will keep trying to get what they want,and need.
And doctors are being accused of being drug pushers.Big Pharma.What a mess.What a complicated problem.Money making drug companies?Yes.True.But they do so much to relieve human suffering too.I know there are corrupt,and just plain lousy, doctors too.But most of them are not.They're overworked,and under pressure to function as a profitable part of the health care system.I don't think the vast majority are careless of harming patients.

The problem is physical.The human body deteriorates over time.The baseline changes.The baseline is not pain free any more.The baseline may not be manageable without treatment.
I certainly hope for progress in drug development too.

So I have to care.because it effects me.It's not just somebody else's problem.
I don't want to be treated like a self indulgent weakling because I have pain,and need to manage it.
Maybe I've made it worse by over training.That's a real possibility.
I could go on about the evidence on the benefits,and risks of weight training with chronic pain.
I'm going to say in my case the benefits win.I can lift heavy weights,and function.I think it keeps me ahead of the limitations that could set in.
I'm going to keep trying to build muscle,and strength.At least keep all I can.
My mother didn't play sports,or exercise much.I wish she had.
So I think I would have had the probably congenital low back,and hip pain anyway.
I'll keep working to hopefully improve my body under the circumstances.It's an ongoing process.

This is just one of the big issues in weight lifting.Something is going to give eventually.It's individual what it's going to be.