Soaked with pain; learning about chronic pain sufferers,and the denial of opiates.

I started almost accidentally following the pain care crisis on Twitter.
I have had,and do sometimes have pain.I've passed kidney stones so I know what truly severe pain is.It can be overwhelming.
But I don't have anything near to the agony that many in the Chronic Pain Patient community have.
It doesn't take long to tell these are people suffering from devastating medical conditions.Many have a very poor quality of life.And not very much left.
Their stories are soaked with pain.
Then the so-called opioid crises hit.I remember the stories on the NBC News site.The Opioid Crises.The Heroin Crises.Day after day by turns for months.
The mainstream media had a full bore, five star meltdown.The nefarious monster Big Pharma.The dirty doctors over prescribing.The cavalier attitude to popping pain pills.The junkie horror.The abandoned babies."Think of the Children!"
Every trope in the journalistic book.
The reality is opiate over doses were happening.It is a tragedy.I don't blame the media for covering it.But they played it so damn hard.And I'm afraid they made it,and still do,look relatively uncomplicated.T H E opioid crises.It's pain pill prescriptions.It's 'drug seekers'.
But it's not that simple.
Now here's where it gets worse.The Government got involved.Politicians started screaming about it.Crack Down!!! We shall crack down,and stamp it out.
This is a long complicated story which is beyond me.But the CDC's reported numbers have been questioned.It's claimed they inflated the opiate deaths by listing multi-drug overdoses as opiate caused.They find opiates,benzodiazepines,cocaine,and alcohol in someone's system,and say it was the opioids.In truth it was the whole load of drugs.
(But who wants to admit that? Not a young man's parents.Not when they can blame an oxy tablet.)
The politicians were certain they knew the root cause.Big Pharma,and their dirty docs.Simple.Stop that.Crises resolved.The lawmakers and enforcers have saved the day like J. Edgar Hoover.But it isn't working.They did shut down some genuine 'pill mills'. There was criminal diversion.It's good that was addressed.
But the more they squeeze the hand full of sand,the more it runs through their fingers.
Why? Fentanyl.
(information on Fentanyl )
Illegal Chinese produced Fentanyl types.It's a nightmare.
Substances in this category are astoundingly powerful.A tiny amount can be transported,and distributed easily.It's practically unmanageable.Prince,and Tom Petty had both taken illegal fentanyl.
So controlling an old lady's pain pills won't fix that.But that's what they're doing.
They're passing massive bill packages against all opiates.Denying veterans,and medicare patients use of all narcotics.Force tapering,and forcing off.Force.
To get the blessed numbers down.To make it look like they're winning the score.But you can't because they've targeted the source that's easy to attack instead of the real supply of death.
They're shooting fish in a barrel.
They force the pharmaceutical companies to produce less opioids,including less morphine for cancer patients.The Feds have now driven the supply so low it's causing shortages in hospitals.
Federal,and State law enforcement are pressuring doctors to stop prescribing opiates.Driving pain clinics out of existence.Threatening,and charging doctors who write prescriptions for legitimate medical patients with devastating conditions.Many of whom have been stable on pain care for years.They're cracking down,and stomping and destroying people's lives.The lives of the injured,sick,elderly,diseased.They are treating weak people like a stat on the butcher's bill.The acceptable cost of controlling the pain pill crises.
Now most doctors frown,shake their head,and push miserable pain patients away.

I follow a number of people on Twitter,and read the Pain patient sites.It's heartbreaking.
I don't think I'm a terribly soft person on hard issues.But I have to feel for them.I'm angry,and hurt for them.They're being tortured for a problem that's beyond their responsibility.
I follow a very angry man who's mother is in bad shape.She's under medicated.But in the midst of his anger there is clarity, as well as blame.He may sound like he's ranting against the powers that be.But he nails the problem.Over weaning micromanaging from the government over what is essentially a health care issue.Monitoring patients,pill counting,suspicion, etc...
Treating patients like criminals.
And they can't prove themselves to be innocent,and deserving because taking the opiates in the first place makes them guilty.
They're treated like they want to get high.They want to feel good.To feel ok.To live a worthwhile life.
So they're drug seekers.
It's turned into an unfalsifiable.
They're being increasingly denied the effective drugs that  make life bearable.Law enforcement busts another hapless doctor,and scatters his patients to the wind.No help.No recourse.Tough shit.

Some people are calling this a genocide.That's very melodramatic.But it stinks like the foul instinct to cull the herd of the old,weak,and sick.
Infirmicide.
Kill the cripples.
Sure as hell looks like it.
It's so easy for society to treat the severely disabled pain sufferers like lepers.Like the weak link in the chain of the opiate problem.If we could just get rid of them... we could control the addicts.
It's been pointed out that we are all an accident away from needing pain care.
Or old age,and illness.Give it time.If you're lucky,you'll get there.
One of my elderly relatives was told by her doctor that he "didn't have anything left in his tool chest." She was referred to a pain clinic.She has some medication for now.

Pain patients are in agony,and angry,and they should be.
This is grotesque.

It's not going to help the addicted either.They can always find the illegal supply.

Here is an interview with Dr Josh Bloom from Oct 2017 that explains the cost of punishing pain patients.

I really can't do this subject justice.But the information is getting out.
I'll keep being a supporter of severe pain patients.I can only hope the brutality of the politicians,bureaucrats,and law enforcement improves.
Where is the mainstream media on this?
Only lately starting to catch up.I'm afraid they're still mostly a part of the problem.
It's just too irresistible to show an old person's hand holding a prescription pain pill next to a bottle.
That's still the standard picture.
They're getting the picture wrong.That pill is likely counterfeit.

I'm getting to the point of expecting far too many important issues to be bungled.It's time for self correction,and rationality to gain ground.

Pain improvement,and still plugging along.

My pain is better.I still have hip pain.I don't think that's ever going away.
But I'm still lifting.I can still squat,and deadlift.
I'm not an explosive lifter.To say the least.I'm a slow putterer.Grind and get it done.Do your best on the day.That's a place I had to concede to get to.I do know I worked out too hard when I was younger.I did too much volume training.It was promoted in the muscle media when I started,and it felt kind of intuitive that the harder,and longer,you lifted the more you would gain from it.
Well no...you can hit diminishing returns and exhaustion.
I tend to beat up on myself.
I'm reminded of the crazy scene in the movie 'Liar Liar' where the character is seen throwing himself around the bathroom,and when asked what's he doing responds "I,m kicking my ass! Do you mind?"
I think I succeeded in the self ass kicking department.I think I earned my merit badge in that.
I did adjust over time.
That may be another subject.

Anyway,pain.
I was never a competitive bodybuilder.But I wanted to look like one.Always a great excuse to bulk.I focused too much on lifting heavy.Lifted too heavy,and ate too much.
I had to trim down.Take weight off my back,hips,and knees.
The fact is I love to cook,and eat.I come from a foodie family.( I didn't go to cooking school,or work in a restaurant.But I did get paid to cook for private individuals at times. )
Since I learned about the low carb whole food approach it has made my diet far easier.I'm not  uncomfortably hungry,and miserable about my dieting any more.
I'm hearing a lot about the inflammation issue too.Cutting out the processed food is hopefully helpful.I feel like it is.You sure do shed water weight dropping grains,and sugar from your diet.It will make a noticeable difference.
I could tell after a couple of months that my usual pain level was down.Maybe 30-40% day in,and day out.That's pretty significant.

Then I think it got even better somehow.I lifted more regularly.Made the new eating habits feel like the usual.And started cruising.Now I'd say my pain is down by about half.I still feel stiff on some days after a heavy lifting session,or yard work.It mostly hurts when I have to bend over,and put a pull on my hip joints.
But it's far more manageable.

I did keep using Kratom on,and off.It's very good for pain,and excellent for mood.I have to say it's been a real advantage having access to it.In combination with aspirin,and the occasional ibuprofen it helps keep me active,functional,and strong.
Unfortunately the overreaching idiots in the federal government are trying to ban it as a matter of principle.They can't stand anything remotely like an opioid escaping their crushing legal grasp.Bureaucrats are a nightmare of irrational over regulation.It's their job.But mostly it's their type.They want to be seen as champions of protecting the public....from themselves.Which is a fundamental violation of the concept of personal liberty.Which seems to be a point lost on many people right now.
I'll fix,or screw up my own life thank you very much.
There are organizations fighting to keep it legal.But they're fighting the dull machinery of blind control.It's like a Kafka story.
I support the efforts.But I don't hold out much hope.Bullies usually win in the world now.

Anyway..I'll keep plugging along with my weightlifting as well as I can.It's a long journey.But it's largely beneficial so I'll stay the course.

Kratom - my experimentation with taking it.

This may be a controversial issue to discuss.But what the hell.It's not like anyone is reading this anyway :)
I've been trying Kratom lately.
I recently posted about my chronic pain from years of weightlifting,and playing tennis.
I do take a Hydrocodone/ Ibuprofen medication for the pain sometimes.This is an opioid pain killer.
I almost always only take half a tablet.It's an effective medication for pain.But it's strong enough that it's hard to workout with a full dose in my system.
Before that I was taking a lot of Ibuprofen.Probably too much.Too much Aspirin before that.
Fortunately the Aspirin didn't seem to cause me any problems.I have a good stomach.
But in the long run NSAIDS can stress the system.Taking Acetaminophen( Tylenol ),and drinking alcohol is not good for your kidneys.At least it's risky.
I didn't take Tylenol.I don't think it's a good drug frankly.
Ibuprofen is an effective painkiller.But again taking higher doses of medications for a long period of time can be concerning.When I was taking enough to reduce my menstrual cramp pain,it would make me feel slightly uncomfortable from it after a few days.I guess I would describe it as stuffy headed,and icky.Of course menstrual periods make you feel nasty anyway.For the most part I've had a good experience with Ibuprofen.

So on to my recent use of Kratom.
I had a period of time when I didn't have a refill on my usual medication.Kratom had been in the news a lot,and I started looking into it.
Chris Bell , the director of the film 'Bigger,Stronger,Faster' is making a documentary on it.He has had an opioid  problem in the past.He's had severe hip problems,and replacement surgery.He made the documentary 'Prescription Thugs' about the issue of pharmaceutical companies,and doctors encouraging the use of powerful drugs.I haven't seen the movie yet.I'll try to watch it sometime.
I understand the point of view.I think the problem of opiate addiction is very complex,and multicausal.Not only bad intentions from Pharma,and irresponsible doctors.I wonder if obese,over stressed,and depressed America is really having a pain crises? I think that's possible.
I know Americans are relatively spoiled when you look at the global picture.But I think the pain is not imaginary,or mere self indulgence.
This is also a nation of athletes who play contact sports,and we have many suffering veterans.
Maybe I just don't have the heart to condemn people for their agony,and grief.I don't think anyone wants to become addicted.
But opiates are strong drugs that can cause real physical problems.They seem to change the way the body perceives pain.It's normal for people to develop a tolerance for opiates.But it can become worse and develop into Hyperalgesia.It's beyond my knowledge level to go into details.But it's the frightening effect of long term opiate use causing a worse pain problem.
 It's horrible to think there are people who have pain problems then have worse pain because of the painkillers.The human body is just great,isn't it?

So I ordered a sample pack of Kratom to see what it would do.It included;Red Vein Maeng Da,Green Vein Malay,White Vein Bali,and White Vein Maeng Da.I'm a long time taker of various supplements.Most of them are over rated,and not worth it.I'm reasonably cautious.But I'm willing to give things a try.
( I do want to point out that Kratom is legal where I live.Also I don't take recreational drugs )

Kratom is unquestionably effective.
It certainly feels like it's activating the brain's opiate receptors.It does clearly have the feeling of pleasure,euphoria,and warmth that opiates can induce.
But it feels softer,and rounder in a way.More diffuse,and relaxing.
Pharmaceutical opiates are strong,and pointed in their impact.They have the feel of a targeted drug doing what it's designed to do.That's not a criticism.Just fact.
There are claims that the different strains of Kratom have different effects.I'm not sure I really noticed that.Maybe it effects different people in different ways.
It's said to make you more alert,and yet relieve pain.I didn't find what I took particularly energizing.But it didn't make me feel like I was going to fall asleep either..Not at all.I didn't feel out of control.Merely softened,and relaxed.
I took a dose of about 1/4 tsp of Red Vein Maeng Da and proceeded to lift weights.It was a leg session with squats.No problems.I did have some pain relief from it.But I didn't feel dopey.
I could,and usually can,feel some degree of pain in my hip joints most of the time.It's just a question of getting it down to a manageable level when I lift.It's more of an issue on leg days of course.
I also tried taking the other strains in slightly higher doses when I didn't have to lift.I did notice the White Vein Bali was very relaxing.Good bye anxiety!

It would certainly be worth experimenting with people who have severe problems with anxiety,and depression to see if Kratom would help them.I wonder if it would help people with OCD,Anxiety,PTSD,Insomnia,Anorexia,Anhedonia  etc..?
Who knows?
But we live in a society that would allow them to take SSRIs,and drown themselves in booze before they would be allowed to take a plant.
I'm still amazed we're seeing an improvement in the decriminalization of marijuana.
I hate to think this is all really due to the greed of pharmaceutical companies.We live in a country that seems to place financial interest before all else.That's a tragedy.But I'm sure the drug companies think they can create better,more precise,drugs than can be found in nature.True,scientific drug manufacturing has improved human life immensely.I'm absolutely not anti-science.But that doesn't excuse unfairly barring people from using natural substances when appropriate.
Evolution has been at it's work a long time.
We can't have the arrogance to destroy individual liberty when people are seeking relief from pain,and disease.It's not a noble cause to protect society from the right to control their own bodies.
I never get over the fundamental refusal from the Right,and the Left to respect personal autonomy.
I'd rather see people educated,and allowed to exercise their liberty,than unnecessarily frightened and protected from 'themselves'. It may be well-intentioned.
I just don't think it works.You end up infantilizing society.

Now in all seriousness;Kratom could cause problems.I doubt it would be as addictive as pharmaceutical opiates.But that doesn't mean people couldn't become dependent.I don't have the information on that.It might be too soon to tell.
Of course you wouldn't want people to take it just to get high,and be useless.
I wouldn't want minors taking it unless under medical supervision.
There could be some reasonable restrictions,or expectations for usage.Though it does seem like we have a major problem with common sense usage of anything in America.
That's what I'm afraid of.It's either legal,and everybody finds out about it,or it's criminalized.
Why does everything have be classified as good and legal,or bad and criminal?
If the media goes into a panic frenzy that will set the politicians off to dog pile on it as a menace.
I'd bet on it.
America hates a 'junkie'.
I just remembered the late great comedian George Carlin's line about a 'Commie Fag Junkie'.
If American politicians get a whiff of the dreaded spectre of bums getting high,look out.

At least the DEA has relented for now.
We'll see.
Can America please agree it beats the hell out of oding on Fentanyl?


A few more practical points;
This stuff was as fine as baby powder.And it's very hard to mix with anything.You could say it's        hydrophobic just to have the opportunity to use that word.It hates water.
It can be mixed with applesauce,or pudding,or even ketchup.It takes patience to mix.It doesn't have a pleasant flavor,or texture.It's dusty,but tends to clump together in the mouth.
The only thing I can remember that it tasted like was a supplement called Horny Goat Weed (epimedium)
It's not a horrible taste.It's just a little bitter.
It will stick to a silver spoon.Use a plastic spoon to take it if you're going to be simply putting it into your mouth.
You can take about a 1/4 - 1/2 tsp dose in your mouth and then take a swig of a non-carbonated drink like a fruit juice,or Crystal Light.Swish it around vigorously in your mouth,and swallow slowly,and carefully.Don't gulp it.And wash it down well.
Don't get it up your nose either.That would be a bad time.
It can be made into a tea.Put it into brewed tea in a cup.Or mix it with an instant tea mix.You could try it with cocoa.I didn't.But it will settle to the bottom,and stick to the sides of the cup, even in hot water. Sipping it with a strong lemony instant tea mix was not bad.
You could probably also buy it in capsules.But then you couldn't control the dosage as much.
I would take it easy at first.Always better to under do something until you get a feeling for how it will effect you personally.

Now to wrap up.To provide the usual disclaimer.
Of course you should never do anything illegal,or naughty.
I'm not encouraging you to take any drug,or supplement.That's your choice.
Talk to your doctor.(Really that wouldn't be a bad idea.)


My final word is;I do think Kratom should remain legal.
I'm concerned about the people who are trying to stay,or become, more functional.
Why punish them?
It would do far more harm than good at this point to ban it.

Personal Pain Experience.

And it's all personal.We're all limited to our own subjective experience of our pain.We can bitch about it to others.But we're the ones stuck with it.
Of course there's emotional pain.It can be every bit as horrible as physical pain.But this is about physical pain,and exercise.
About how you learn what the depths,and limits are.

It seems so easy when you're young.You know what pain is by instinct,and you avoid it.The doctor comes at you with a needle,and you cry and hide behind your momma.At least I did.I'm lucky I was successfully immunized.Actually I was a very healthy child.I did get a few injuries.But nothing major.
When I was young my mother would complain about her discomforts.She had me when she was forty years old. My father was forty three.Naturally conceived.What are the odds?
My point of view has usually skewed older.I feel rather 'out of time'.
But I guess I must have taken my youth for granted.I believe most of us must.The aches,and pains will inevitably increase with age.
My mother would say her hips hurt her.She was having trouble sleeping because of it."My hip hurt so bad last night it almost killed me."She may have been slightly melodramatic,but she wasn't making it up.I believed her.Told her I was sorry.But I don't think I really understood how bad it was.

When I was a teenager I started playing tennis.Running around hard courts.Not fast either.I'm not a good runner.But very good form on my strokes.Shame I couldn't get around the court better.I may have been a decent player.Forgive me for a little brag.But my teaching pro said my backhand looked like an Ivan Lendl copy.That's who I was trying for.( Lendl or Edberg )
A few years in I noticed I was having some incidences of hip pain.It felt like the hip joint was biting on the nerve.Sharp stingers that would shoot down the leg.
Sciatica
It's pretty common.And no doubt inherited in my case.
It can be a genuine pain in the ass.

All this time I've been weight lifting too.On and off.I don't want to give the impression I've lifted day in,and day out  year after year.I've been involved with other things.Didn't have the enthusiasm.Didn't make the effort.
But in recent years I've been more dedicated.Which is great.
The benefits far outweigh the negatives.
But one of the questions I have is does it make my pain better?
Because the sad fact is it's gotten worse over the years.I think you could label it chronic at this point.
There are good,and bad days.But I can feel the discomfort in my back,and hips ( left particularly ) most of the time.
I do take pain killers when I need them.
I've taken Aspirin,Ibuprofen,and Hydrocodone.

My first experience with opioids was an attack of kidney stones when I was about thirty.It just hit me one evening.Bizarre unimaginable pain.I ended up in the ER where they gave me a shot of demerol.It felt like having the full tension of a set of piano strings released.
I was given some hydrocodone to take at home.I did take it when needed.I did not pop the whole bottle of pills down my throat like candy.That bottle lasted awhile.The stone passed.
I've passed a few of them since then.I,and you,would have to take strong pain killers to get through it.
It's like passing a sticky burr down a piece of spaghetti.It's excruciating.
An emergency room doctor told me he had women who had both experiences say kidney stones hurt worse to get out of your body than a baby.
Now I'm really glad I never had kids.
But seriously.The pain of kidney stones is bloody awful.
Having the medication on hand keeps me from needing to make an expensive trip to the hospital.

To get the point of the issue.I was a very strict young person.I didn't use illegal drugs.I didn't smoke.
I didn't drink more than a few times in my twenties.I worked out,and tried to eat well.
I was born to be the designated driver.
I don't party.
It's a family joke how unwild I am.
I don't take drugs lightly.But I've changed my views.I have nothing but sympathy for people who have to treat intense,or chronic pain with medication that's beyond over the counter.
I used to chew down enough aspirin to kill a horse.it gets to the point where you have to use more effective substances.

Pain sufferers are not criminals.Some may be addicted,or dependent.I'm as sorry as anyone else to see people die of opioid overdoses.I don't want to see the irresponsible over prescription of drugs.
But I'm sensing the onset of another case of destructive moral panic coming on in America.It wouldn't be the first.We seem to have a sad predilection for them.Americans hate the appearance of moral incontinence.All the while being surprising selfish at the same time.A puritanical,and individualistic nation can lead to some weird convictions.
I just hope that the greedy sensationalistic media doesn't keep careening out of control on this issue.This can't be turned into another case of hysterical click bait.
Why the hell can't we be rational about serious issues?
I'm sick of seeing politicians scampering to get ahead of a fear herd for votes.
Criminalize marijuana.Criminalize Anabolic Steroids.Now the DEA is moving toward criminalizing kratom.Here we go again.We grant the idea of personal freedom like a ticket you're not allowed to cash in.And people will keep trying to get what they want,and need.
And doctors are being accused of being drug pushers.Big Pharma.What a mess.What a complicated problem.Money making drug companies?Yes.True.But they do so much to relieve human suffering too.I know there are corrupt,and just plain lousy, doctors too.But most of them are not.They're overworked,and under pressure to function as a profitable part of the health care system.I don't think the vast majority are careless of harming patients.

The problem is physical.The human body deteriorates over time.The baseline changes.The baseline is not pain free any more.The baseline may not be manageable without treatment.
I certainly hope for progress in drug development too.

So I have to care.because it effects me.It's not just somebody else's problem.
I don't want to be treated like a self indulgent weakling because I have pain,and need to manage it.
Maybe I've made it worse by over training.That's a real possibility.
I could go on about the evidence on the benefits,and risks of weight training with chronic pain.
I'm going to say in my case the benefits win.I can lift heavy weights,and function.I think it keeps me ahead of the limitations that could set in.
I'm going to keep trying to build muscle,and strength.At least keep all I can.
My mother didn't play sports,or exercise much.I wish she had.
So I think I would have had the probably congenital low back,and hip pain anyway.
I'll keep working to hopefully improve my body under the circumstances.It's an ongoing process.

This is just one of the big issues in weight lifting.Something is going to give eventually.It's individual what it's going to be.